Butternut Cheesecake

As I'll be attending a potluck T-day dinner at a friend's home, my contribution, a butternut (butterscotch pecan) cheesecake needed to be prepared last night (cheesecakes need to 'age' don't you know...).  Based on the resultant kitchen mess, I'd say I was fairly successful.

Crust

Crumble 'Nilla wafers in large quantity in a food processor, add even more sugar, and butter.  Blend.  Carefully grout the crust into a springform pan.  Make sure to leave just enough for later taste testing (quality control is everything in my kitchen).

Filling

Carefully throw 4 packages of cream cheese, enough sugar to make the American Dental Association sit up and take notice, 4 eggs, several handfuls of chopped pecans, and a live frog into a mixing bowl.  OK, the frog's optional.  Start mixer and pray that (a) the motor doesn't thermonuclear in a shower of sparks; or (b) the mixer and bowl don't cha cha off the counter.  Continue mixing until the batter adopts the consistency of readyset concrete.  If bowl contents attempts to crawl out of bowl, call exorcist.  Carefully pour into crusted pan.  Recall at this point that heating up the oven is a good idea if one is to bake a cheesecake.  Light oven and wait until it looks happy.  Place filled pan in center of oven without spilling the contents all over the place and down your pants leg.  Wait, fire extinguisher in hand.  Just as the smoke alarm is about to erupt, remove the (assumed ready) cake without burning the hair off your forearms on the oven sides, add topping (which you might have remembered to prepare), and place the quasi-organic mass in refrigerator.  In preparation of these last critical steps, mouth tribal chants exhorting the spirits of cheesecakes past to protect you from dropping the scalding hot pan onto the floor or tripping over the cat on the way to the 'fridge.  Nervously check the cooling cheesecake every hour for reasons you can't quite explain until bed time.  Stuff all of the pots, pans, and utensils you've used into the dishwasher, hose down the counters and floors to hide the evidence.  Have nightmarish dreams of food poisoning and emergency room visits.

Enjoy the season all!