rickps | Questions, Questions

Thanks to the creativity of

bigreddee, I've volunteered myself to answer some soul searching questions. So here goes, without a net.....

1) Who usually says, "I love you" first, him or you?

Based on my limited experience, the "L" word seems to come to my lips a trifle faster than my companion. Perhaps its a sign of insecurity or just my inability to fully edit what comes into my head. I think I'd argue, however, that the stereotypical male attitude is to repress voicing how we feel and that that's an awfully rigid standard to adhere to. If there's a weakness in saying "I love you", I just don't see it.

2) How important is it to you that your friends approve of a person you're dating? If several of your friends made it known that they didn't care for him, would you still see him?

My core independent spirit wants to quickly answer "No, it'd not matter at all what my friends might feel about my man". But the reality is that were the friends involved ones that I felt close to, I'd want to hear their opinions. I'd want to know what they see. But the only opinion that truly matters is my own.

3) Name two people who inspire you, and why?

Of the five questions, this is the one I'm having the most difficulty answering. Nearly everyone I've ever known in more than a casual sense has inspired me in some manner. To single out two individuals is thus not an easy task. I'm fortunate to have two best friends, two people that know me better than I know myself. One is a LJer, Michael,

pugsly_phx, and the other is my long time friend, Todd. From Pugs, I've learned what "heart" really means and how much of a two edged sword it can be. His feelings are strong and he has the ability to make those around him know that his feelings are genuine and unwavering. In this past year, his heart has had to turn inward as he's faced serious medical challenges. If anything he's come out stronger and a better person for it. I can't help but be awestruck.

Todd has taught me how friendships can survive anything. We've remained close despite his move to Seattle and mine to San Francisco. We've 'been there' for one another when our respective relationships ended. We've been through lost jobs, personal crises, sickness, auto accidents, and much more. We talk less frequently than I'd prefer. Yet he can finish sentences that I begin and I can do the same for him. He inspires me with his calm steady presence in my life.

4) If you were at a business conference and were given the tidbit that, of the 100 men present, 10 were gay. Could you pick out the ten, and how good do you think your "gaydar" is?

Frankly, my gaydar stinks. Its been proven again and again that I don't know folks are gay unless they are very, VERY gay. And its a funny thing. The company I work for has 300-400 people at my level or higher and NONE are out gay folk. Strong testimony to the conservativism of the public works field. But I know that some must be gay. If you asked me which, I'd be at a loss to tell you.

5) What is the biggest change you would like to make in your life? Why haven't you made it?

An easy question. I like the work I do (environmental engineering) but no longer find it challenging or particularly fun. However, it pays decently and is about as stable as any job can be. But if I could turn back the clock, I would choose a career I think I'd find more engaging. The two that I believe I'd find most interesting would involve building and troubleshooting of computer systems perhaps with a bit of teaching on related topics. The other is as non-technical as it can be - a career in psychology/counseling. I find the "why" of what we do and how we react endlessly fascinating.